Hello, I’m Rogan and welcome. Black Lives Matter. Donate, protest, have conversations. Do whatever you can. I have links that can help you get started at the end of this post.
Today is a video I’ve been wanting to do for a while, but was never really sure how to do. I’m still not, but we’re just doing it. This is the most googled questions about bisexuality. I will just be googling the words and seeing what comes up, and react to that. I have a list of search terms that I created beforehand, so we’ll see what happens.
So, first and obvious to start with – bisexual. Bi flag, pride flag, all the standard expectations that you would see from “bisexual.” *chuckles* Bisexual haircut. Let’s see what that is. Oh yeah! Yeah, the bob cut. For some reason, a lot of bi women have that. It’s hilarious.
Okay, bisexual versus pansexual. That is… A lot of people have… Differing opinions on what this is. For me, I… It means the same thing for me. I tend to prefer bi, just because I like the definition of that better. They are really similar. A lot of people have the misconception that bi means men and women, that’s it. Really, it’s not. Yes, bi means two. But when has English ever actually followed language? Let me back up a little bit. I want to be clear that bisexual has never really meant attraction to only men and women. In 1990, the Bisexual Manifesto specifically has a definition saying no, we don’t focus on men and women only. We understand that that’s a spectrum, and we have attraction to that spectrum.
Bisexual Manifesto: We are tired of being analyzed, defined and represented by people other than ourselves, or worse yet, not considered at all. We are frustrated by the imposed isolation and invisibility that comes from being told or expected to choose either a homosexual or heterosexual identity. Monosexuality is a heterosexist dictate used to oppress homosexuals and to negate the validity of bisexuality. Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or duogamous in nature: that we have “two” sides or that we must be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don’t assume that there are only two genders. Do not mistake our fluidity for confusion, irresponsibility, or an inability to commit. Do not equate promiscuity, infidelity, or unsafe sexual behavior with bisexuality. Those are human traits that cross all sexual orientations. Nothing should be assumed about anyone’s sexuality, including your own. We are angered by those who refuse to accept our existence; our issues; our contributions; our alliances; our voice. It is time for the bisexual voice to be heard.
But I use this definition: Bi is attraction to more than one gender. Period. More than one gender. Not necessarily this and this. No, just attraction to more than one. While pansexual, most people tend to use that as attraction to all genders. That’s the usual definition of pan. Which is fine. Nothing wrong with that. But for me, the reason why I prefer bi–Attraction to all genders. Well, that’s… A lot. You can’t really know that, so… I don’t know, just my personal thing. I like bi better. But if you prefer pan, nothing against that! Really. Use whatever label you feel comfortable with.
Okay! Next word, bisexuality. I just explained bisexuality vs pansexuality, the definition, spectrum. Permit? I think I’ve seen this before. Bisexuality permit. I think it’s like a card, yeah! Ha ha ha.
Okay, I’m going to go ahead and jump to the next search term that I put on my list. Are bisexual and pansexual the same thing? For some people, yes. Some people, no.
The next term I have is… Is bisexual… Woody from Toy Story bisexual? I don’t see why not. I mean. Yeah. Is bisexual part of Pride month? [gestures to self and video]
Already answered that. Umbrella, okay. Is bisexual an umbrella term. I guess it could be?
Is bisexual outdated? No. It’s not. Living bisexual right here!
And! Is bisexual binary? Like I just explained, no. Not really. Yes, there are bisexuals who are attracted to just men and women. Yes. But most of the time, we don’t really believe in that definition.
The last thing, is bisexual the same thing as fluid? No. And yes. It depends on the person. I know many bi people have… Experience changes in levels of attraction. Like, some people may currently be more attracted to feminine people. But a few years later, it shifts to be attracted to masculine people. Fluid and changing over their lifetime. Some people don’t, and stay the same all the way. So it can be fluid, it can be.
Next term! [mouthing: do bisexual…] *drops phone* Do bisexual relationships last? This follows the stereotype that bisexual people are promiscuous, aren’t committed… That’s all… BS, okay? Bisexual relationships are like any other relationship. They may last for fifty years. They may last for a month. They’re not more or less stable than hetero relationships, gay relationships, any other kind of romantic relationship. So… Yes and no. Again.
*grimace-grins* Let’s move onto the next word. Have I always been bisexual? Maybe.
Oh, I love that they’re asking how to have a bisexual relationship. It’s like any other relationship. It all depends on what kind of relationship you want, what kind of relationship the bi person wants.
*laughing* Why do I have bisexual feelings? Maybe because you’re bi!
That’s really interesting that there’s a question saying how to have a relationship with a bisexual man? Specifically, a man. I wonder if it’s because there is a stigma in the queer community, really, that bi men are just on their way to identifying as fully gay. Not true. Yeah, there–yes. There are people who will do that, because they’re afraid to take that big step. Which is fine, but people have to understand that there are bi men who are not gay. They are still attracted to women, or other genders. And… Sexuality is fluid. Maybe you–I know some people have, full speed ahead, I’m gay, full stop. Later on, they realize that oh, no, actually I’m bi, because they still have attraction to other genders. They just realized that they had feelings for this thing, and thought that was the right thing, but no it’s actually all of this as well. So… Can people please stop thinking that bi people are faking it? Please?
Let’s try the past tense of that. Had a dream I was bisexual. Maybe because ♪ you are! ♪
And I believe we are finished. For now. That was…interesting. It’s interesting to see what people are searching for in relation to bisexuality. I hope you learned some things from what I said. And enjoyed this, some funny things that came up, and some… Questionable things. Anyway.
I don’t know what more to add to this. Just want to say, if you feel like, hmm, I’m bisexual. You are valid. I know, it’s annoying, a lot of people will question your identity, and say oh, but what are you really attracted to? They may even ask, Okay fine, you’re attracted to men and women. And they’ll ask you what you’re more attracted to. That’s a dangerous question. For example, me as a masculine-presenting person. I say I’m bi, and they ask me which I’m more attracted to. If I say I’m leaning more toward attraction to women, people will go, oh, you’re really straight, you just want to experiment. Or if I answer the other way, and say I’m more attracted to men, they’ll say oh, you’re really gay, you’re just not ready to fully accept that identity. Both are wrong. When people ask me that question, what I’m more attracted to… To a complete stranger, I will say no, why is that important to you? I label myself as bi. I am bi. Regardless of what I lean toward.
And I think that’s a good place to stop. Leave in the comments if you have any questions, or you’re curious about whatever. I will answer them. Maybe. Thanks for watching, see you soon.
Please let me know if there’s anything you feel should be added to the list below. Thank you!
- White people, read these
- White Deaf Privilege: whitedeafprivilege.wordpress.com
- How to be actively antiracist: https://www.instagram.com/p/CAvbZyVh1xc/
- Antiracism books: https://www.instagram.com/p/CAdw65UHtwJ/
- Support queer businesses!
- Queer black businesses: https://bit.ly/2TV2H8X
- BLM Queer-inclusive organizations: https://www.instagram.com/p/CA3fWCjpHI4/
- Qwear (fashion): https://www.qwearfashion.com/home/queer-black-brands-for-the-socially-conscious-fashionista
- 20 LGBTQ Businesses: https://www.reviewed.com/home-outdoors/features/20-lgbtq-owned-businesses-to-shop-and-show-your-support
- The Okra Project – https://www.theokraproject.com
- House of GG – https://www.houseofgg.org
- The Transgender District – https://www.transgenderdistrictsf.com
- 9 Black LGBTQ+ Organizations – https://hellogiggles.com/lifestyle/black-lgbtq-organizations-to-donate-to/